'Heirheads' Paris Hilton and Kimberly Stewart Top PETA's Annual 'Worst-Dressed' List
(Editor's note: Is PETA desperately trolling for end-of-the-year press coverage? They couldn't get Pamela A. to make a statement by flashing her boobs against fur? Maybe the lettuce ladies were out of town? The trolls at PETA had to come up with a new gimmick and, for the first time in my life, I find myself applauding winner Paris Hilton)

A tacky affinity for fur has landed the following celebrities on PETA's Annual 'Worst-Dressed' List for 2005:

1. Paris Hilton: Now we know what happens to all of Paris Hilton's cast-off pets. And if she keeps on wearing fur and eating at Carl's Jr., she'll be back on the list next year as Star Jones. (Editor's note: I knew this sex-obsessed organization would be watching the Carl's ad. They've probably got it on a slo-mo loop so they can REALLY enjoy it.)

2. Kimberly Stewart: What does Kimberly Stewart have in common with the remains of the animals killed for her furs? They're both spoiled rotten. She and best bud Paris are so clueless about animals, they should team up for a new reality show: The Simpletons. (Editor's note: Written and directed, of course, by Li'l Brucie.)

3. Lisa Gastineau: Her "TV career" is just like the fur she wears—dead on arrival. And how can she expect to nab a hot young hunk if she insists on flaunting that old beaver? (Editor's note: They're kidding, right? Please tell me the folks at PETA didn't really know what they were saying when they made this incredibly-tasteless-EVEN-for-them comment.)

4. Victoria Gotti: Gotti's fur coats make her an accessory to murder, and it's a look that goes well with cement shoes. Considering the way she dresses, her show should be called Growing Up Gaudy. (Editor's note: Does PETA know her "family?" Good, maybe a visit from cousin Vinnie will get their attention.)

5. Tara Reid: It must have been a heck of a party—she woke up wearing Lindsay Lohan's dog! Not only can she not act, she can't dress herself, either. (Editor's note: Did PETA attend? Did someone from that organization, fresh from viewing Paris Hilton's Carl's, Jr tape for the 10,000th time, offer to act as her official dresser/undresser?)

Three celebs notably absent from PETA's list this year are animal-friendly turncoats Martha Stewart and Victoria "Posh Spice" Beckham and fur-wary Alicia Keys. Stewart, who topped the list last year, now hosts a video exposé on FurIsDead.com, in which she says, "I used to wear real fur, but, like many others, I had a change of heart when I learned what actually happens to the animals."

Formerly furry Beckham has confirmed to PETA that she not only now shuns fur, but also supports PETA's anti-fur campaign. And Keys revealed her biggest fashion faux pas to USA Today this year: "The worst was this fur collar, and PETA should have gotten me with red paint," she said. "It looked like I was being eaten by a big bear." We haven't seen her in real fur since, which makes us think she finally came to her senses and won't wear it.

Ad’s Warning Meant to Give Reading Residents Food for Thought (and Save Their Lives)

Reading, Pa. — In the wake of a Reading meatpacking plant’s massive recall of ground beef last month that spanned 12 states, PETA hoped to place its blunt (Editor’s note: “Blunt” meaning crude and tasteless – the usual design criteria for PETA’s ad campaigns) new anti-meat billboard in Reading, but the city’s billboard companies had other ideas. City billboard companies refused to allow space for the billboard, which aimed to inspire Reading residents to chuck their burgers, steaks, and pork cutlets in favor of humane—and safe—vegetarian fare.

The billboard reads, "Eat Meat and Die," and lists some of the many risks that meat-eaters face, including bacterial infections such as E. coli, listeria, and campylobacter. Urging viewers to "Go vegetarian!" and steering them to PETA’s GoVeg.com Web site, the billboard would have come on the heels of recent news reports that Quaker Maid Meats Inc. recalled about 94,400 pounds of frozen ground beef patties that may be contaminated with E. coli. (Editor’s note: “may be” is the operative term here. Uncertain about the ground beef and being concerned for the public’s health as well as their own corporate well-being, the company staged the recall. It was the right thing to do.)

What’s PETA’s beef with meat? Besides causing immeasurable suffering for the billions of animals who are cruelly raised and killed for their flesh, meat is also deadly to consumers. Seventy percent of foodborne illnesses are directly linked to meat consumption, (Editor’s note: So PETA is agreeing that 30% of all food borne illnesses are caused by the consumption of potentially DEADLY fruits and vegetables that can spread listeria, e.coli and C. bot? Actually, it’s closer to 50%, according to CDC.) but the threat of E. coli, listeria, campylobacter, and other bacterial infections is only the beginning. Consumption of meat and other animal products has also been conclusively linked to America’s top killers, including heart disease, strokes, diabetes, and obesity.

Animals pay the price too. Chickens are drugged and bred to grow so quickly that they often can barely stand. Cows are dehorned and branded, and male cows are castrated—all without painkillers. According to U.S. Department of Agriculture meat inspectors, cows and pigs in slaughterhouses are often dismembered while they are still conscious, and chickens often drown in the scalding-hot water that is used for feather removal. (Editor’s note: What’s this “often” B.S.? How often is “often” or is it just another nebulous term these truth terrorist like to throw around? Can I say PETA "often" is caught playing with the truth?)

"Eating meat supports cruelty to animals and puts your health in jeopardy," says PETA Director of Vegan Campaigns Bruce Friedrich. "If you want to get sick and fat and eventually drop dead of a heart attack, just keep cramming burgers, pork chops, and beef stew down your throat." (Editor’s note: Listening to Li’l Brucie’s drivel will put your mental health in jeopardy.)
For more information and to view the billboard, please visit GoVeg.com.

Ad’s Warning Meant to Give Reading Residents Food for Thought (and Save Their Lives)

Reading, Pa. — In the wake of a Reading meatpacking plant’s massive recall of ground beef last month that spanned 12 states, PETA hoped to place its blunt (Editor’s note: “Blunt” meaning crude and tasteless – the usual design criteria for PETA’s ad campaigns) new anti-meat billboard in Reading, but the city’s billboard companies had other ideas. City billboard companies refused to allow space for the billboard, which aimed to inspire Reading residents to chuck their burgers, steaks, and pork cutlets in favor of humane—and safe—vegetarian fare.

The billboard reads, "Eat Meat and Die," and lists some of the many risks that meat-eaters face, including bacterial infections such as E. coli, listeria, and campylobacter. Urging viewers to "Go vegetarian!" and steering them to PETA’s GoVeg.com Web site, the billboard would have come on the heels of recent news reports that Quaker Maid Meats Inc. recalled about 94,400 pounds of frozen ground beef patties that may be contaminated with E. coli. (Editor’s note: “may be” is the operative term here. Uncertain about the ground beef and being concerned for the public’s health as well as their own corporate well-being, the company staged the recall. It was the right thing to do.)

What’s PETA’s beef with meat? Besides causing immeasurable suffering for the billions of animals who are cruelly raised and killed for their flesh, meat is also deadly to consumers. Seventy percent of foodborne illnesses are directly linked to meat consumption, (Editor’s note: So PETA is agreeing that 30% of all food borne illnesses are caused by the consumption of potentially DEADLY fruits and vegetables that can spread listeria, e.coli and C. bot? Actually, it’s closer to 50%, according to CDC.) but the threat of E. coli, listeria, campylobacter, and other bacterial infections is only the beginning. Consumption of meat and other animal products has also been conclusively linked to America’s top killers, including heart disease, strokes, diabetes, and obesity.

Animals pay the price too. Chickens are drugged and bred to grow so quickly that they often can barely stand. Cows are dehorned and branded, and male cows are castrated—all without painkillers. According to U.S. Department of Agriculture meat inspectors, cows and pigs in slaughterhouses are often dismembered while they are still conscious, and chickens often drown in the scalding-hot water that is used for feather removal. (Editor’s note: What’s this “often” B.S.? How often is “often” or is it just another nebulous term these truth terrorist like to throw around? Can I say PETA "often" is caught playing with the truth?)

"Eating meat supports cruelty to animals and puts your health in jeopardy," says PETA Director of Vegan Campaigns Bruce Friedrich. "If you want to get sick and fat and eventually drop dead of a heart attack, just keep cramming burgers, pork chops, and beef stew down your throat." (Editor’s note: Listening to Li’l Brucie’s drivel will put your mental health in jeopardy.)

Pandemic Bird Flu Threat Transmitted by Poultry and Eggs Prompts PETA to Warn, ‘Avoid Them Like the Plague!’

Columbus, Ga. — PETA’s brand-new (Editor's note: And showing their usual lack of good taste) bird flu billboard—which shows an ornery-looking "chicken" brandishing a machine gun with the tagline "Payback Time. Bird Flu Kills. Go Vegetarian"—won’t fly in Columbus. That’s because the ad was roundly rejected by outdoor advertisers, even though Georgia is the number one chicken producer in the country. (Editor’s note: And they really thought Georgia would greet them with open arms? Or were they just trying for maximum PR impact?) PETA’s point? To remind consumers that an addiction to poultry and eggs could lead to a bird flu pandemic. (Editor’s note: Hey, that’s playing fast and loose with science but then, we’re talking PETA here.)

Avian influenza, or bird flu, threatens humanity with what could easily be the greatest public health crisis in recorded history. Experts warn that the disease could kill one in eight human beings, including 40 million Americans, and cause a collapse of the world economy. Outbreaks of various strains of bird flu are regularly detected, including in the United States, where as recently as 2004 the disease was found in flocks in Texas and the mid-Atlantic states. (Editor’s note: Excuse me for pointing out the facts. There are several types of bird flu, including the H5 type that experts are watching. It has never been found in North America but, then, we’re talking PETA here.) According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, it can be caught simply by eating undercooked meat or eggs, by eating undercooked food prepared on the same cutting board as infected meat or eggs, or even by touching eggshells contaminated with the disease. (Editor’s point: CDC said that about Salmonella, NOT bird flu. Let’s get our health crises straight.)

"It’s payback time, with avian flu now showing up as a direct consequence of a very sick and cruel industry," says PETA Vegan Campaign Director Bruce Friedrich. "With diseases running rampant in crowded, filthy factory farms, not to mention the known link between meat-eating and heart disease, the safest thing to do with chicken flesh is to avoid it like the plague." (Editor’s note: Maybe he should have said “Avoid it like we avoid the facts!”)

One factory-farm chicken or turkey shed houses tens of thousands of birds who are constantly kept cooped up in their own filth, allowing diseases to spread quickly among them. Laying hens are kept in stacked cages, so that feces from the birds on top fall on the birds below. And the problem is not restricted to birds: Pigs and dairy cows, who live in similar intensively crowded and unsanitary conditions, can also get and spread this or similar viruses. (Editor’s note: A cow or pig with bird flu? Now that’s a stretch. Maybe pigs do fly in PETA's animal fantasy land?)

PETA’s Friedrich fries the truth again, attacks the American family unit

Bruce Friedrich, looking for all the world like a mild-mannered accountant, is a terrorist of the worst sort. No, he doesn’t encourage people to strap bombs around their waists and walk into crowded restaurants or detonate road-side explosives aimed at killing and maiming innocent civilians as well as soldiers.

He’s content with tastelessly assassinating the North American family unit. In his role as vice commissar of propaganda at People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, he’s repeatedly launched campaigns designed for the unethical treatment of humans. He’s undoubtedly borrowing heavily from the old terrorist axiom, “The ends justify the means.”

Lil’ Brucie’s latest outrage is a comic book aimed at children that’s headlined “Your Daddy KILLS Animals!” Cover art shows a gruesome looking crazed animal killer ripping the guts out of a poor defenseless fish. He caps it off with a warning to children that, until they can teach Dad not to kill a fish, they’d better keep their poor, little puppies and kitties away from the scary and mean old man that lives with Mommy.

Tucker Carlson interviewed him on “The Situation with Tucker Carlson,” on MSNBC November 29. Like most propaganda experts, Friedrich smiled throughout and deftly avoided directly answering any substantive questions.

Carlson, not wanting his children exposed to such a heinously out-of-line message, suggested that “if someone slipped this under my door, I'd punch them out.”

View the interview here: http://msnbc.msn.com/id/10265078/